All the rules are in your head.
In fact, all rules are virtual and are completely open to questioning and change.
Lock down
Don’t do this. You must do that like this and not like that. You have to do this when you do that. You must do this 3 times a day.
They were mostly put there by your parents, at your kindergarten, school, university, your peers, friends, colleagues and so on and so forth.
Many rules you decided upon yourself. I shouldn’t do this many times later became “I can’t ever do this” or “I can’t do it like that” or “I must do this like that”.
Endless rules
For example, I cannot work on the weekend (or weekends are for relaxing, eating what I want, drinking, etc).
That to relax, you need to drink, or sit in front of the TV.
That socialising must be done in a bar, pub, restaurant and so on.
That work must be painful and is only there to generate an income and that it cannot be enjoyed or be also your true passion.
That hobby or passion is never something you could earn money from.
That feeling happy is good and feeling sad is bad.
That people must be assessed based on a few black and white facts and behaviours at a given time.
The list is endless and only grows as you get older.
A necessary evil
Whilst many rules are restrictive and prevent us from achieving more, some are needed.
The younger we are – the more rules we need.
Without them we would go insane and would not know how to behave in many situations – having to decide and act quickly in many of them.
Rules are like bricks in a house and we are like a house.
We need to build a house or we’ll have no shelter, nowhere to eat, sleep, wash.
Without bricks, we can’t build said house.
But once built, we can – and should – go through the house room by room and see what should be changed.
Some rooms should be completely torn down, walls removed, windows changed – some are good as they are.
Problem is – most people never go back to see what needs rebuilding and leave things as they are.
Truth is – all “houses” need constant review. All rooms need a new lick of paint – some – many times over and over again.
Break the glass
Well, guess what: you can – and should – change any of the rules.
The best thing to do is experiment and to try things for the sake of trying. Not all will work, but many will and many will turn out better than what you did before.
You might (I am sure you will – I did) find the new ways make you happier, more fulfilled, achieving more (whatever achievement means to you) but above all – you will really feel yourself growing. Becoming more, understanding yourself better, others around you.
Instead of spending a night down the bar or pub after work – try doing social sports, like climbing (indoor – try bouldering, it’s great fun).
Instead of meeting a friend over a meal – try going for a walk with them instead. Walking has been proven to stimulate better conversation and thought process.
Shake your foundations
The key is to show yourself and your brain that change is possible and that many concepts that we feel are rock solid and unquestionable – are not.
Anything and everything in our mind is open to questioning.
We can – and often are – wrong about certain conclusions we’ve made.
First step is to admit to ourselves that we can hold incorrect concepts and that we can make mistakes and be wrong.
Step two is to try other ways, think what alternatives are there, ask yourself if perhaps they’re better.
You will be amazed how much can be re-built, re-wired.
You will be even more amazed how liberated you feel when you realise change is good, rebuilding does not send the “who you are” into oblivion and that “self” is a constantly changing and evolving notion and the rate of change only makes you a stronger self.
Mind Iterations 