It’s hard saying no.
People don’t like hearing it.
We don’t like upsetting other people and we want others to like us – it’s the underlying base mechanism of a functioning society.
So to consistently and frequently reject requests and suggestions is hard and – somewhat – antisocial.
However, if you know what you truly want to get done – try as you might, you will come to realise after a while that you need to reject everything unrelated in order to make time for your chosen activity/ies.
Triage
Understanding what you want is another matter – but if and once you know what it is that you want – be it a specific finite goal or a regular activity or a life style, you will need to constantly asses and triage things that come your way and categorise them as either:
Y) aligned with your life and chosen goals
N) unrelated distractions
We are bombarded with offers from people, outdoor advertising, on TV, Facebook, in shops and so on – and every month the rate is increasing.
Messages are often extremely convincing and we struggle to reject them.
FOMO
For years now and also on the constant rise there is the FOMO – Fear of Missing Out. Many things we often waste our time on is due to this FOMO.
We fear that not getting that thing, or going to that meeting will have disastrous consequences…
Get your life back
…It won’t!
Try it. Try it a few times. For a while.
You will find that you:
- Get more things done – the ones you wanted to
- Spend less money on stuff that you then use very little
- Will have more free time
- Do things that you should/want to – better
- You will be less stressed
How to say no
You don’t have to rude about it and you can do it in a way that will no upset those around you.
There are many way to say no politely. You can defer things. You can explain that you’d love to do whatever is being offered but you have to do this other thing (the one you’ve decided you want to be doing) first.
As for Facebook, advertising, TV, etc:
- Watch scheduled TV less and VOD more
- Watch paid content vs free (ad-funded)
- Shop less
- Decide what you need to buy before you go to the shops and just buy that
- Read less and write more
- Read books
The test
The main acid test you want to be checking many things for – is if they align with your goals or not.
Of course there is a balance and we’re not robots, so use the 80/20 rule – reject most things but allow some folly. You will discover new things this way, things that might become your passion one day.
Mind Iterations 